Spirituality, Recovery & Prayer Booklets

Two informative (free) booklets can be read and/or downloaded from Guest House:

SPIRITUALITY and RECOVERY FROM ADDICTIONS

Mary Ellen Merrick, IHM, D. Min., MAC

https://www.dropbox.com/s/6mk26ti9garedp2/SPIRITUALITY%20AND%20RECOVERY%20FINAL%20FOR%20PRINT%20SMALL%20LOW%20RES.pdf?dl=0

Prayers and Reflections For Persons Suffering From Addiction and Their Loved Ones  https://www.dropbox.com/s/x49h89hf9g0521h/Guest%20House%20Prayer%20Booklet%20-%20PROOF%20%284%29-FINAL.pdf?dl=0

A Recovery Meditation Guide

Love & Service:  A Meditation Guide for People in Recovery 
by Dave M.*

http://matttalbotretreats.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/loveservice.pdf

 Edited from the FORWARD:

"The purpose of this (128 page) work is to provide my fellows in recovery an effective means to deepen their relationship with a God of their understanding through prayer and meditation.

While facilitating retreats and workshops, folks have expressed to me their desire for more. They’ve been through the basics, found self-help information that garners more self-centeredness than

God-consciousness and suspect they’re ready to move on.

Love & Service provides access to God-consciousness in a spiritual rather than specifically religious format. It shares the wisdom of ages past with coaching and insight on the specifics of abandoning ones self to God. 

 

The inspiration for Love & Service came from Imitation of Christ (IOC) by Thomas A. Kempis. Love & Service continues IOC’s tradition of a candid and conversational style. This work is meant to be a liberation from worldly inclinations as well as a recollection as a preparation for prayer and the consolations of prayer.

References in this guide will appear periodically to Alcoholics Anonymous (“Big Book”) along with the page number."

*Note:  Dave describes himself as a happily married retired businessman, retreat facilitator, founder of www.spiritualretreatsteps.com, Benedictine Oblate, and trusted servant to those in AA and Al-Anon.

Don't write anyone off

As the old year ends and the new one begins, don’t write anyone off.

Msgr. Charles Pope shares the following story:

 “...I know a man (who is now deceased) but he told me his story, of how he was raised in the Church, got all his Sacraments, went to Church regularly, and was a God-fearing man. But in his early 40s he descended into alcoholism, began to be unfaithful to his wife, stopped going to Church and was dismissive of God. Were you or I to have seen him at that time, we might have easily concluded it looked bad. But somewhere in his early 60s, he knows not how, (except that someone was praying for him), he pulled out of his rebellion and re-entered the vineyard. He sought help for his drinking and reconciled with his wife and children. Daily mass, weekly confession, daily rosary, and Stations of the Cross, yes, when he returned, he really returned. But he said to me he had done a lot of sinning, and now it was time to do a lot of praying, making up for lost time, as he put it. He died a penitent in the bosom of the Church.
 

You just never know. Don’t write anyone off. Nothing stabs evangelization in the heart more that the presumption by many of us that someone is an unlikely candidate for conversion. Keep praying and keep working. Jesus tells us of a son who told his father to buzz off, but later repented and went into the vineyard. Pray, hope and work, you just never know. Don’t give up.”

(Source: http://blog.adw.org/2011/09/god-can-use-anything-but-he-shouldnt-have-to-a-meditation-on-the-gospel-for-the-26th-sunday/)

Earlier today a group of folks were sharing their highlights of 2013.  One man (who apparently does not have a drinking problem but works the Al-Anon program) stated that his most significant highlight for the year was a call from his best friend who has had a drinking problem for the past 27 years  and to whom he had given a copy of Alcoholics Anonymous in 2011. He was thrilled to hear that his old friend had finally begun reading the gift book two months ago, attended AA meetings and was beginning to work the 12 steps with a sponsor.  Don’t write anyone off.

Regarding Venerable Matt Talbot, his mother, Elizabeth, prayed for Matt and other family members years before Matt finally gave up alcohol. She never gave up.

Trusting God with an Addicted Child

Elizabeth Talbot prayed continuously for her son, Venerable Matt Talbot, (and other family members) that he (and they) be released from the bondage of alcohol. After 16 years of drinking and being excessively drunk, Matt finally informed his mother that he was going to “take the pledge” not to drink. She warned him not to do so unless he was serious about it. With the support of God, daily Mass, a spiritual director, Elizabeth’s prayers, devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, and other life changes, Matt was able to stay sober for the remaining four decades of his life.

Although having an addicted son (or daughter) today is a very different time, place, and circumstances than what Elizabeth Talbot experienced, perhaps this article will speak to some mothers.

Trusting God with Our Son and His Addiction

Hattie Heaton

February 16, 2011

Source: http://catholicexchange.com/2011/02/16/148285/

Everyone knows a handful of days can change who you think you are. Death removes someone you love from your life and changes the family dynamic. Marriages add new members, rearranging the family dynamic. And there are tragedies that can drop you to your knees in an instant, showing you that it can happen to you, too.

Days like these steal your innocence. They make you question what you thought you knew before. I know, because on July 25, 2010 my husband and I experienced the most difficult day of our lives.

Four days prior, I didn’t have a name for what was wrong with my son. My husband and I had been baffled for years at his lack of maturity, initiative, his mood swings and irresponsibility. But as I drove out of the long drive and left my son at an alcohol and drug rehabilitation center, I had the answer that boggled my mind and shook my family to the core, making me re-examine everything in my life.

But it was an answered prayer. Finally, honestly, I had summoned the courage to pray that God would show us what was wrong with my son. I think on some level, I always suspected, but fear and lack of faith always kept me from going down that scary road. Our family was about to embark upon a journey that no one wanted to travel. I was bombarded with swirling emotions after leaving my son behind. I prayed, “Here I am Lord, what now?”

As I got to the end of the rehab driveway there was a big arch extending from one side of the drive to the other. It was painted with big white letters that said, “Let Go and Let God.” I had often heard that phrase in relation to AA, but I had never really dug into the guts of what that meant. Our journey would begin by learning how.

Our family was about to learn so many new things. We would be challenged to change our entire view on how to protect our son. We were advised to allow him to face the natural consequences of his actions, no matter what the consequence was. We were all so paralyzed with fear in the beginning. Thankfully, good friends and family surrounded us with prayer, food and the support we needed. For many weeks I slogged through each day, came home, laid in the fetal position on the sofa and begged God for the help that I wanted.

This was not the place I had ever expected to be. I had not hoped for, planned, dreamed or even imagined this for any of my children. We had discussed the dangers of drugs and alcohol. I took my children to Mass every Sunday. They attended Catholic schools. How could this have happened under my very nose?

But it did, and it is my cross. Slowly my prayer began to be, “Help me to learn how to carry this cross…give me the strength; show me the way.”

What I know now is that addiction is a family disease. The effects of one person’s addiction have a direct impact on every member of the family. I see now that, slowly over time, we began compensating for the addict, fixing things for the addict, making excuses for the addict, tip toeing around the addict, until the whole family (whether cognizant of it or not), was changing what they would have typically done in order to facilitate or enable the addict to continue his habit.

Letting go seemed counterintuitive, at first. If he had done this under our constant watch, what would happen if we let him go? But if I continued doing what I HAD been doing, I knew I would continue to get the same result. I realized it was time for courage, time to ask for God’s will no matter what.

Still, after learning of our son’s addiction we struggled with fear for his life and the need to protect him from judgment. The disease of addiction still has many negative connotations associated with it. Often it is thought of as a character flaw; it is socially stigmatized. But after a couple of weeks of carrying our secret, it became a burden too heavy to carry and the decision to confide in close family and friends was a tremendous relief.

We began to attend family counseling at the rehab facility. Learning the facts about the disease of addiction helped us release the anger towards our son, and place it where it belonged, on the disease. Early on the choice to experiment was his. It was a bad choice, one that would lead him to a place where the disease of addiction would take over. As parents we also made a lot of bad choices. But now we choose to make better ones.

Addiction is the number one public health threat today in the United States. If addiction hasn’t affected your family, look around. It is everywhere. While in rehab, my son reconnected with someone from high school, college and work, and even someone from his grandfather’s small hometown 100 miles away.

Loaded with new information, we started learning to live within our humbling new reality and looking with new eyes. How many times have I walked past someone that I suspected had a problem with drugs and alcohol and not looked them in the eyes? How many times had I failed to realize that these people were someone’s child, or to see Jesus in them?

My son is experiencing what Mother Teresa called spiritual poverty. He is “one of the least of these.” I look into my beautiful boy’s eyes and see someone lost, but I also see a glimpse of hope. I have learned to look a little deeper from now on.

God in his mercy is working on this family, teaching us to trust more, teaching us to see more. He is teaching us to look for his will in everything we do, and giving us peace, and strength, and joy. This life- changing event has brought us so much closer to each other and to God, stripping away so many unimportant aspects of our lives and is replacing them with “peace that passes all understanding.”

Is my life perfect? No. Has my son stayed in recovery without relapse? No. But I have learned that peace is not the absence of chaos. It is having a calm heart in the midst of it.

My son is on a journey, a journey that God has planned for him and that will teach him new lessons every day. If I get in the way, I might prevent him from learning something important.

But I am learning too. I must let go. When I simply trust, things are better. The sign at the rehab facility was only one lesson of many more, and each one brings me closer to God so that I am less afraid. I can face this journey knowing that God is in control, giving me strength for the day and a light for the way.

Today, I am able to “Let go and Let God.” Thanks be to God.

Note: We recommend another article by Hattie Heaton at http://praying4henry.blogspot.com/search?q=matt+talbot

One source of help for parents is Al-Anon in Ireland at http://www.al-anon-ireland.org/index.htm and in the USA at http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/home